Deepest Secrets, Wildest Fantasies.
Feelings. They are not physically there. But I'm sure it is more than a physical thing, if it really is.
Feelings are never simple. Or should i say, feelings bring complex effects. Never easy and simple to deal with. It drives people insane and insanity can't be reversed like erasing a pencil mark. The aftermath is too much to bear and it definitely shows the extent of influence of feelings over people.
You may think, yeah yeah, all nonsense. There are 'positive' effects brought about by 'positive' feelings, 'positive' being chosen for a lack of better word. (How else, when the brain is tired after training in the gym and the only thing it is doing is thinking why the owner is standing in a MRT.) 'Positive' is indefinite and it varies with people. Happiness may be taken for granted and may never be a 'positive' feeling but just a norm. I admire these people who are well protected by who-knows-what. But no, I don't admire them when they don't appreciate the things that are really memorable and the times that bring happiness. These people complain most of the time, but well, I think we have to pardon them while they try to figure what is happiness.
Love may be interesting, but when couples break up, it is not interesting anymore when they see each other in a tea party.
Friendship may be the coolest thing in school, but when jealousy and pride comes into the picture, can it still be so?
In writing all the above, I had a question in mind. Had you had a friend that got jealous of you and set his heart all out to get you in? Not trying to say that I made someone jealous, but how can you control people's feelings? If only telling the person 'Don't be jealous of me. Please.' works.
Especially with someone that you have so much in common. Same CCA. In the same leadership organisation in school. In the same department in that organisation. In the same class for 4 years, entire time in the school. Took part in the same competitions. (Note the 's'.) And in all that, winning and be better than him. I understand and can't blame him for feeling that way. But isn't jealousy and revenge or something two totally different things?
I accept jealousy as a feeling. But I never accept the things that one do to the person one is jealous with. I said this with absolute confidence. Who would treat someone good when he is jealous with that person? Ulterior motives, bootlicking, and hypocrisy are thrown out of the photo frame.
The underlying point I want to put across is, 'Why don't people understand that improvement is only good when it's a comparison with before and after?'. No external factors. Only improvement and time. It does not matter how much weights A is carrying. It does not matter how much B got in the Math test. It does not matter which secondary school C comes from. Neither does it matter who is D, E and F are.
You don't see it this way and you are making my life miserable.
