<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(//www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/8599300432464789972?origin\x3dhttps://writingsonwall.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Propose A Stupid Plan.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008, 14:48
It is really heartwarming to know that there are people who are concerned over me. Who bothered to tell me that I can call them at some ungodly hour of the day just to listen to me. Who take time to look at my blog, to text me to ask whether I need to talk. It is really the tough times that show who really is your friend.

My mood was really down the past days and I think some people just didn't like that. I felt I wasted my day just being sad but I can't help it. You know, you just can't be happy because there is that something bothering you. Although you try to push it to the back-most of your brain, it still comes back to the front. It just wants to annoy you.

I thought I could be happier since you came back. But you made me feel even bad.

Before Kuantan, I felt really shitty, thus the blog posts. I thought through and I think I should forget and return to being happy. And yes, after Kuantan, I felt happy. I felt normal. I didn't feel let down. And I liked how I felt that day, that Monday.

Tuesday came. And things came crashing down again. I thought I still have the ability to be happy because I thought I can feel good with someone over dinner. But no dinner and no words to make me feel all right. And I returned home to a questioning parent and I was really tired and it just caused my day to ended worse.

I blogged in my private blog that night. No no, it is not meant for you to read. Give me my personal space.

And I slept through the night rather peacefully.

I told myself that I should be happy today when I woke up and I managed to stay happy. At least there are people that makes me laugh, makes me feel that the world is not against me, to make me feel that I still have friends to encourage me and talk nonsense with me. Maybe because I poured everything out, it doesn't weigh me down anymore.

And staying happy worked. Earlier, my teacher didn't give my group any face and was embarrassing us in class and compared us with other groups (I really hate being compared, if you don't already know.). So she totally made me pissed off, but after that, I got happy and crappy and was joking around again.

Sometimes, I don't want too much; I just want someone to understand and support me.

I just want to feel good and I wonder how long I can feel this way.






Ernest