I Curse And I Swear.
I was having a really really bad week in camp. Booked in on monday to run administrative stuffs and only to be told that I had to follow the crt, company recce team, without any rest before I can move out.
Anyway, the term crt can drive me crazy. I don't care what's the order. Rtc, tcr, ctr, whatever. Friends, better don't bring out these three alphabets.
Many things happened. Believe me when I say many.
My mood was especially bad, even more so when my phone ran out of battery. I was messaging friends throughout my outfield and it helped took my attention away from the fact that I was alone without food and had to move out earlier by one day while the rest are resting comfortably on their beds.
So naturally, when my phone died on me, I got into an all-time-low mood.
I was so depressed that I can't bring myself to smile in reply to others when they talked to me.
Just then this first sergeant came along and asked how I was doing. Right after some scolding and questioning from this old man I absolutely detest. So in the conversation, I voiced my displeasure and went along the lines of why are regulars so hard up on minor things and likes giving nsfs a hard time most of time.
"I mean, you made a choice. You signed up for a career in the army. You made your life decision and this is the career path you set yourself upon. We didn't; this is a liability for us. We didn't have a choice. We have to serve, so it was not our idea to be here. We don't want to be here, really."
"You have a choice."
*shocked face*"I don't understand."
"Your choice of being a Singaporean,"He didn't really pause, but I was already boiling up to my neck when I hear the first sentence.
"You could have given up your citizenship in exchange for this two years. Your decision to be a Singaporean, this is what you have to give up. Give and take, this is life."I can tell you, the anger that I had that moment was so different from those I normally swallow into my stomach. I couldn't take that explanation. I was so mad because I couldn't see this whole system in this angle. It didn't make sense to me, not at all. Whatsmore, I was so pissed with all the shit that I had been doing and this is the kind of explanation a superior wanted me to accept. Never mind he didn't have the intention to make me feel better, but he should be more sensitive, shouldn't he?
Regulars are so fucked up and the only reason I can find why they want to be there, is that they know society will not accept them. This organisation is thus, the rubbish collection point; providing employment for people like that. At least they have a place in an organisation, rather be unemployed and be looked down upon. They are very smart, to recognise their weaknesses. But in the end, while they get advantaged, the organisation becomes disadvantaged.
Greatly disadvantaged.
